Once a Missus – Now a Widow
Today is a heavy day. As I navigate the depths of grieving Eddie, I find myself searching for meaning in everything that has happened. Writing helps me process, but…
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A New Not Wanted Routine
After more than three weeks away, I’m heading back to the office this week. The same place where I got the call—Eddie hadn’t arrived at his clinic yet. The…
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Each Day is the Worst Day
This morning has been incredibly difficult. I woke up feeling completely lost, unsure how I’ll move forward without Eddie. It’s not that I don’t want to be here—I do—but…
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Grief, Love, and the Strength to Keep Going
Grief is brutal! It throws me in every direction—numbness, sadness, fear, anger. I sit with all of it, knowing somewhere deep inside that I will feel better one day,…
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Finding Comfort in the Words
Being an only child, I’ve always found peace in my own company—not loneliness, just a deep comfort in solitude. And in some ways, that steadiness is serving me now….
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Not the Email List I Wanted to Be On
Grief avoidance—that’s a term I just learned yesterday. It popped up in one of the many emails I’ve been getting from various organizations offering grief counseling. Not exactly the…
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Business Mode
Eddie had just leased a new car two weeks before he passed. When people ask how I’ve been keeping it together, my answer is simple: “Right now, I’m in…
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Keep on Moving
It’s 4:24 a.m. I wake, turn to my right, and open my eyes—but Eddie isn’t there. He’s not there for me to rest my leg on, to move closer…
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What Am I Feeling?
Yesterday, we laid Eddie to rest. The day was beautiful, filled with the presence of people from every corner of his life who came to honor him. There were…
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Vibrations
Tomorrow, Eddie will be laid to rest. I haven’t slept much—just four or five hours a night, at best. Each time I wake in the middle of the night,…